As you may be able to instantly notice, this blog has become something of a graveyard. Some of you wonderful people still leave comments, and those comments really brighten even my darkest day.
There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about this blog (as sad as it sounds) and I see it as a massive failure, just another thing I couldn't stick at (guitar, hockey, the gym ect) and all of a sudden, I hated this blog, I hated its name, I hated all the posts on it, I felt like I couldn't post things that I wanted to like current events, I hated that my photography sucked, and that's when it dawned on me, the months of not posting had come from hating how I had failed. Not just at blogging, but as I saw it, at life. I was 22 and constantly sitting in my room revising, writing essays, applying to jobs, without a friend in the place I lived, or money to do anything.
My life had become so horrendously boring, that I believed that there was no real urgency to leave my bed in the morning. The past few months have also been interesting, mental health wise, with small bouts of depression, but most scarily, I don't fully recognise when I am getting into that state. My mental health history is a long and arduous story that is for another day. But there comes a point when you have to pay your car tax and stop 'screening' AA's calls, if only to tick one thing off your to-do list. Because the truth is, my life has become, as I see it, boring, because I have let it come this way. Being on your own is not sad or boring, sometimes the best thing you can do is really get to know yourself. As cliche as that may sound.
I guess what I am trying to say is sometimes you just have to suck it up, not waste or wish your life away, and make the most of now. And I am going to try my upmost to do so.
So what if some blog posts end up as a written monologue like this one, so what if the pictures are sub par, I'm an IR scholar, not a photographer for gods sake, and so what if I decide to write an opinion piece on current events, some things are worth talking about after all.
So I may have failed in my first year-and-a-half of blogging, but you know what, I can't change the past, I can only adjust my future. Which is why the next year-and-a-half will be my best.
Thanks for sticking by me, though I have given you absolutely no reason to.
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